Reformed coffee addict shares his pain

A reader who quit coffee cold turkey shares his story from manic jonesing and ultimate triumph.

To the Editor,

My addiction to coffee has been, until recently, simply smiled at or joked about by those who know me.

However, I reached the point where I decided that it was necessary to remove myself from the agitated, stressed, caffeine dependent state.

I was aware that extricating my self might involve headaches, short tempered outbursts and sleeping for seventy two hour stretches but I threw myself fully into my new undertaking.

After suffering the various pains of withdrawal I answered the glowing letter from the ibuprofen manufacturers association, apologized profusely to the nuns at the convent down the road and begged for my job back after oversleeping 53 times.

I look back and wonder how I ever survived myself.

The change has not been without other, albeit minor, difficulties.

I still have a hard time waking up and seeing an alarm clock next to my bed rather a coffee-pot.

There is little joy in going to sleep remembering I will not wake to the smell of fresh coffee.

My bank has returned several cheques because my signature has changed so dramatically since my hands have stopped shaking.

There will be things I miss in my ‘new’ life.

The celebration of my birthday by half the population of Columbia will be sorely missed as will the cash that being Starbucks official ‘Poster Boy” generated.

There are some memories that will forever warm my heart even as I continue to embark into this new, decaffeinated world.

Reminiscences of carrying my coffee cup into the morning shower; the joy of never having to blink due to the surge of caffeine in my veins; the bonding that took place as I taught my sons to dip their own espresso beans will forever create a warm smile.

Life today is different if not better. I do manage to get at least three hours of sleep every night and the coffee bean storage locker has become a nice study.

Most importantly I am now able to make my mortgage payments with the extra money I have found in my budget.

Even though I am relegated to a mere dozen shots of Java a day, life has improved.

Ryan Lengsfeld,

Nelson, B.C.